Boobs and Villains

I was a good author, I coerced an unsuspecting and heretofore innocent audience member (Tony Gottlieb) to take a photo of the Boobs panel, and then I took two of the audience, for your edification and enjoyment. the Like Watching the Grass Grow panel for LCC 2007

This first panel was called “Like Watching the Grass Grow,” and we panelists were supposed to brainstorm a whole book right in front of your very eyes. Which, believe it or not, we did. I was the moderator and I had a kitchen timer and I knew how to use it. I gave the audience five minutes to suggest settings, and, oh my, did they ever–the Space Needle, a safari, an ER, an ice fishing shack, a navy destroyer, a cooking school, the Taj Mahal, Taco Bell, a roller coaster ride, a book club, Sea World, a cruise ship, the Arizona border, southern Louisiana (I think that one has been done), a liquor store, a Florida election booth, a beauty salon and an amusement park, and those were just the ones I managed to scribble down.

Ding went the timer, and then for ten minutes the authors went to work. First we selected the setting: An amusement park with a Space Needle and a roller coaster. Who was there, as in characters? A stripper named Peaches Davenport, who was taking a day off with her 7-year old daughter. Who else? The victim, one Victoria Secrete (thank you, Larry Karp, or was that John Daniel), another stripper who covets Peaches’ headliner status. Also, I think in order, Peaches’ ex-husband, a lounge singer who plays the piano at Peaches’ strip club and the piano lounge on top of the Space Needle, the plastic surgeon who gave both Peaches and Victoria their breast implants, and an engineer who was a rides designer who sees Peaches from afar and falls instantly and violently in love. LCC 2007 boobs panel audience photo another LCC 2007 boobs panel photo

Ding went the timer, and then for fifteeen minutes we brainstormed a plot. Peaches is the intended victim, but Victoria dies. Turns out the surgeon has a right wing religious fanatic nurse who not only is in love with the surgeon but disapproves of the girls’ lifestyle, and she has some geek design an exploding breast implant that is set to go off when the doctor’s pager rings (a gift from an audience member, and thank you). You guessed it, the wrong implant got into the wrong boob and the wrong stripper dies.

Or something like that. The title of this magnum opus? “Breastless in Seattle.”

Yeah. Knew you’d like it.
Actually? We had a good time, and so did everyone who came. That was definitely the right crowd to do that panel in front of.

That afternoon I was on a panel talking about villains, and that was much more sedate and scholarly in tone. But everyone stayed anyway, so it must have been okay.

Seattle is gorgeous, clear skies, full moon, and tomorrow I’m taking friends to see the troll under the bridge. Any town that puts a troll under a bridge can’t be all bad.

Chatter

8 Comments Leave a comment

  1. Dear Dana,
    It was great to meet you at LCC in the book signing room. I can also attest to the hilarity of the Watching the Grass Grow panel. It was a lot of fun. The weather certainly cooperated and it was beautiful in Seattle. I live in Bellingham, WA and unfortunately the blue sky is gone and has been replaced with grey clouds and rain once again.

    I got my copy of A Deeper Sleep and couldn’t put it down until I finished it–another great Kate book. I don’t want to spoil anything for anyone but as I mentioned to you at LCC this book definitely had me on the edge of my seat wondering what would happen next–that’s all I’ll say.

    I hope our paths cross again soon. I’m headed up to Homer in May and then to Anchorage at the end of September for Bouchercon.

    Warm Regards,
    Mary-Frances Makichen

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  2. I know this is incredibly off topic, but do you ever read Janet Evanovich? The post about the panel and the fun time got me wondering, because I laugh myself silly whenever I read her work.

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  3. Hey, Joel, it’s me, Randolph. Will connect offsite…

    And Kathy, yes, I have read Evanovich. My favorite is still the third or fourth one, where Stephanie and Lulu were driving around with the rigor mortis body sticking out of the trunk of her car.

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  4. A FELLOW ALS PATIENT INTRODUCED ME TO KATE SHUGAK. I AM UP TO ‘SINGING OF THE DEAD’ AND REALLY ENJOYING THEM. DO YOU EVER DONATE SIGNED BOOKS? I WORK ON THE AUCTIONS FOR FUNDRAISING TO CURE LOU GEHRIG’S DISEASE. WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOUR BOOKS.

    PATTY

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  5. Thanks, Patty, delighted to hear you’re enjoying the work. I donate books all the time, so long as the supply lasts, which lately isn’t long. Next time you want one click on the “Contact” button on the top menu to ask for one.

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